The other night my husband who is the over-night supervisor for a retail store talked to a trucker with a delivery for the warehouse but the guy was past the cut-off time. He explained that he had just hit and killed a guy on the highway who jumped out in front of him. First the man rushed by two cars as if he decided they may have only injured not kill him and he stopped right in front of the truck. The driver even swerved to the last remaining lane to avoid him but the guy jumped in front of him again ensuring his death. The police said the man was known to have mental health issues.

Now I’ll let you in on a little secret… I have Bi-polar Depression and panic attacks and as bad as it has gotten at various points in my life I have never wanted to kill myself. It was so bad I’ve curled up in the fetal position and bawled as well I snapped in a manic episode that almost landed me in the hospital, hysterically laughing so hard my sides hurt and tears were streaming down my face one second to actually bawling the next. I was put in my husband’s care he had to take a week off of work.

I’ll get to the point in my opinion suicide hurts many more people than just the person who kills themselves. I’ve had a couple of people close to me that threatened suicide and I was 50% angry and 50% upset/sad/worried. If they did kill themselves friends and family are left to grieve and feel guilty. Why didn’t I see the signs? Why didn’t I do more to help? Why? Emotional hardship for the survivors.

And added to this emotional distress is a financial stress. It may sound cold but it is a reality. Life Insurance doesn’t pay for someone who killed themselves, no exceptions even if you are terminally ill and believe me dyeing painfully terrifies me but I would do it for the sake of my husband getting the insurance. Besides life insurance what about the income the person brought into the household whether you had kids or not.

I know there are people who have suicidal thoughts that will be angry at me for this article but stop for two seconds and think about how your action will drastically affect your friends and family. Have the strength/courage to reach out to them for help or there are so many help-lines by organizations you can also get aid. In doing so you are proving your love for them that you care about them enough not to do it. And if not for them what about for yourself?

Although the man he hit on the highway was a stranger to him the truck driver was visibly shaken and still had a long drive back home that night. He was married, what did he say to his wife? How did it affect his confidence to drive a truck again? It was his job he needs to make money like the rest of us but will he get back behind the wheel or quit and try to find other employment?  Did the suicidal man ever take into account how his actions would affect the poor truck driver, probably not.

In a way I don’t mean to sound harsh but suicide is a selfish act and despite my having Bi-Polar Depression I will never do it no matter how bad or painful things might get.